Alabama Family Attorney Blog

It seems like every day we hear of some Hollywood A-lister who is going through yet another divorce. In fact, it happens so often, it has become cliche'. Most of us in the "real world" feel completely disconnected from celebrities. That may be true for the most part, but I think there are lessons to be learned by looking at these divorces and I am going to try to lay some of those lessons out for your reading pleasure.

The celebrity divorce that sparked this blog entry was that of Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson and his wife of about six weeks. Click here for a news article discussing their situation.

In no particular order, here are some lessons that I believe we can all learn from these high profile divorces:
1. Don't ever fall into the trap of domestic violence.
If you are a victim of domestic violence, get out. Every married couple fights. If these fights regularly involve physical intimidation or violence, you need to get away. If your spouse promises to change, remain separated as that spouse seeks treatment for anger management or violence. Return to the house slowly, giving that partner an opportunity to prove that they have changed. Keep in mind that this type of behavior escalates, it doesn't get better on its own.

2. Take marriage seriously.
What I mean here is this: don't enter into marriage lightly, with the thought that if it doesn't work out I'll just get a divorce. Expect to have problems. Plan to work out those problems - no matter what. The issues that I hear about from clients most are money, children, housing, and infidelity. Under most circumstances, the first thing that I recommend to someone wanting to consult for a divorce is to get marriage counseling.

3. Don't publicly discuss your marital problems.
This is a big issue with celebrities. Because they live in a manner that is constantly under scrutiny, it is difficult to keep problems and disagreements private. However, with the advent of social networking like Facebook and Twitter, "regular" people are more often living in the public eye. Don't disparage your spouse on social media. Nothing good can come of dragging your spouse through the mud on Facebook. These posts will only be used against you when the case goes to court and it could even affect the determination of child custody!! It isn't worth losing custody of your children just to berate your spouse on Facebook.

4. Don't commit adultery.
One of the most common things that I see out of Hollywood celebrities is an open flaunting of adultery or infidelity. Not only is it morally reprehensible and hurtful to your spouse, it will most certainly cause you to be the biggest loser in a divorce. Property settlements in a divorce are usually 50/50 splits when the partners are both either equally responsible for the divorce or equally innocent. However, when one partner can show that the other has been unfaithful, the property split will favor the spouse who was not unfaithful.

5. Don't try to represent yourself in a contested divorce.
You may not think that you can afford to hire an attorney, but you may find out that you can't afford to not hire one. Unfortunately, many people begin the process by representing themselves and then hire an attorney when things get too complicated. Often, it is more expensive for me to try to get a client out of a mess they created this way than it would have been to represent them from the beginning.

Continue reading "Learning From High Profile Divorces" »

The down U.S. economy has touched just about every aspect of the legal profession. There are statistics showing that crimes, especially thefts, have risen exponentially since our economy has taken the most recent downturn. In that same time frame, bankruptcies, both personal and business, have certainly been on the increase. The one area of my practice that has been hit especially hard by the economy is divorce.

If you are thinking about filing for divorce in Tuscaloosa or the surrounding areas, be prepared to run into delays because of the strain on the judicial system caused by the current budget crisis in Alabama. These delays are only getting longer, and that is especially troubling in cases where children are involved. Nothing about divorce is good for children, but the feeling of being in limbo while the divorce is pending is especially tough on them.

While I really don't see any change in the number of divorces personally, I'm sure that there have been some who have put it off for financial reasons. One thing I am seeing is that more couples seem to be trying do-it-yourself divorces at first. These "kit divorces" as I like to call them, seem to cause more trouble than they fix since I usually have to completely start over and the couple loses whatever money they spent on the kit. The biggest problem with the kits is that they may have state specific forms, but those forms don't always conform to the local rules and customs for every county in the state. These kits are especially difficult to use when the couple has children to consider.

I would advise anyone thinking about using one of those kits to speak with an experienced divorce attorney first. I would suggest further to those people that if they are able to agree on all of the issues of the divorce such as division of property, child custody, visitation, and support, an uncontested divorce drafted by an experienced divorce attorney is not that much more expensive than one of those internet kits. And the added peace of mind is especially valuable.

Continue reading "Tuscaloosa Divorces Affected by State Budget Crisis" »

The most frequently asked question that I receive from people contemplating divorce is "what should I be doing to get ready for my divorce?" Generally speaking, this is probably the most important question they could ask. Although my answer varies somewhat based on the individual situation, there are some general principles that apply to almost every situation. This is why I felt the need to include this topic as a blog post.

Step 1: Find An Experienced Divorce Lawyer to Consult
I know, I know, this sounds like a commercial. I'm not saying that you have to come to me, I would certainly appreciate the opportunity to help you, but what I am saying is find someone. Don't be afraid to ask potential lawyers about their experience. You can certainly find forms online to fill out and do your own divorce. However, if you do eventually plan to go that route, I still recommend speaking to an experienced divorce lawyer at first so that you can find out if there are any issues that need to be handled by a professional.

Step 2: Get a Clear Picture of Family Finances
This is extremely important while you still have access to records. Make sure that you know exactly what you own (both you and your spouse), how much debt there is, and how much income comes from each spouse. Additionally, be sure to make copies of any and all important records and account numbers. Pay close attention to any assets or debts that the other spouse is likely to attempt to hide from you at a later date.

Step 3: Don't Accumulate New Debt
Now is not the time to purchase a new house or car. The worst thing that you can do with respect to property is to acquire new debt against property that has no equity. Many divorces drag on much longer than they should simply because the couple has debt that they cannot pay and assets that would not cover that debt if sold.

Continue reading "Alabama Divorce Preparation Basics: Considerations Before Filing For Divorce" »