Alabama Family Attorney Blog

The period of time between Thanksgiving and Christmas should be filled with happiness and peace in a perfect world. However, when a family has been split apart by divorce, the holidays are often filled with conflict and strife especially when it relates to Child Custody and Visitation. This is often one of the busiest times of the year for those of us who practice Family Law, simply because of all of the fighting that goes on.

In my experience, the best way to avoid this fighting is for the parties to all have the children's best interest in mind when planning for holiday custody and visitation arrangements. However, there are some former spouses who just can't seem to put their differences aside for even the best of reasons. In those cases, you need to have a custody and visitation schedule that specifically spells out what happens during the holidays.

In Alabama, it seems that almost every county has its own set of visitation schedules that the county calls "standard visitation." The purpose of a set "standard visitation" schedule is that the attorneys in a particular case don't have to reinvent the wheel for their clients. It serves as a good starting point in negotiations and it gives the attorneys an understanding of what the Judge would award if the case were to go to trial. Additionally, a standard visitation schedule allows the Judge to be more consistent when ruling on cases.

That being said, when negotiating a settlement between parties, there are often tweaks that we make to the visitation schedule so that each party feels like their specific needs can be met. Remember, once that schedule is adopted by the Court in your case, it becomes a Court Order and if you or the other party do something in violation of that Order, you can be held in Contempt of Court.

Continue reading "Child Custody Visitation Problems During Holidays" »

It seems like every day we hear of some Hollywood A-lister who is going through yet another divorce. In fact, it happens so often, it has become cliche'. Most of us in the "real world" feel completely disconnected from celebrities. That may be true for the most part, but I think there are lessons to be learned by looking at these divorces and I am going to try to lay some of those lessons out for your reading pleasure.

The celebrity divorce that sparked this blog entry was that of Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson and his wife of about six weeks. Click here for a news article discussing their situation.

In no particular order, here are some lessons that I believe we can all learn from these high profile divorces:
1. Don't ever fall into the trap of domestic violence.
If you are a victim of domestic violence, get out. Every married couple fights. If these fights regularly involve physical intimidation or violence, you need to get away. If your spouse promises to change, remain separated as that spouse seeks treatment for anger management or violence. Return to the house slowly, giving that partner an opportunity to prove that they have changed. Keep in mind that this type of behavior escalates, it doesn't get better on its own.

2. Take marriage seriously.
What I mean here is this: don't enter into marriage lightly, with the thought that if it doesn't work out I'll just get a divorce. Expect to have problems. Plan to work out those problems - no matter what. The issues that I hear about from clients most are money, children, housing, and infidelity. Under most circumstances, the first thing that I recommend to someone wanting to consult for a divorce is to get marriage counseling.

3. Don't publicly discuss your marital problems.
This is a big issue with celebrities. Because they live in a manner that is constantly under scrutiny, it is difficult to keep problems and disagreements private. However, with the advent of social networking like Facebook and Twitter, "regular" people are more often living in the public eye. Don't disparage your spouse on social media. Nothing good can come of dragging your spouse through the mud on Facebook. These posts will only be used against you when the case goes to court and it could even affect the determination of child custody!! It isn't worth losing custody of your children just to berate your spouse on Facebook.

4. Don't commit adultery.
One of the most common things that I see out of Hollywood celebrities is an open flaunting of adultery or infidelity. Not only is it morally reprehensible and hurtful to your spouse, it will most certainly cause you to be the biggest loser in a divorce. Property settlements in a divorce are usually 50/50 splits when the partners are both either equally responsible for the divorce or equally innocent. However, when one partner can show that the other has been unfaithful, the property split will favor the spouse who was not unfaithful.

5. Don't try to represent yourself in a contested divorce.
You may not think that you can afford to hire an attorney, but you may find out that you can't afford to not hire one. Unfortunately, many people begin the process by representing themselves and then hire an attorney when things get too complicated. Often, it is more expensive for me to try to get a client out of a mess they created this way than it would have been to represent them from the beginning.

Continue reading "Learning From High Profile Divorces" »

Many viewers tune in to watch the Maury Show when the host opens a big envelope in dramatic fashion and reveals the identity of the father of someone's child. Similar drama unfolds at least on a weekly basis in a courtroom with much less fanfare in Tuscaloosa County and other courtrooms all over the state. The hearings are over in minutes, but the effects are felt for a lifetime.

I'm reminded of something I learned as a child from my parents, some advice that goes something like this: "It's much easier to do a job right the first time than to have to go back and fix a poor job later." This lesson certainly applies when dealing with paternity, child custody, and child support.

Generally speaking, the process plays out as follows, the mother of a child has a good idea who the father is but is not completely sure. She is getting no assistance from him as to the financial needs of this child and she decides to have a court order him to pay child support. She files a paternity suit and he is summoned to appear in court.

Once the parties appear, the court lays out the options for proceeding. The presumed father has a right to have an attorney appointed to represent him in the matter if it is determined that he is indigent. Additionally, the presumed father is afforded the opportunity to have a dna test performed to determine if he is indeed the child's father. The dna test comes with a cost that may also be waived, at least partially, if the man is determined to be indigent.

If the man is found to be the child's father, he will likely be ordered to pay an amount of child support based on the combined incomes of the father and mother. I have found that it is almost always in the best interest of the presumed father to have the dna testing done. Even if he is very certain that he is indeed the father, there will never be a better time to find out for sure. Also, if the man finds out later that the child's mother concealed information of another possible father, the chances of successfully reopening the case are remote because the court is hesitant to cause an older child to be suddenly fatherless.

Continue reading "Tuscaloosa Paternity Testing Follows National Trends" »

As an Alabama Divorce and Family Law Attorney one of the most common and most difficult situations is one where the former spouse who has physical custody of the couple's children threatens to move away. Often this leaves the non-custodial parent feeling as if they have been marginalized and removed from the lives of their children. There are some things that can be done to prevent the move or mitigate its effects.

There is a section of the Alabama Code titled the "Alabama Parent-Child Relationship Protection Act" that deals with just this type of situation. As with many other such safeguards, time is of the essence. Action must be taken immediately to prevent the non-custodial parent from losing their rights under this act.

The "Alabama Parent-Child Relationship Protection Act" can be found under section 30-3-160 of the Code of Alabama. One of the basic requirements under this act is that the custodial parent must provide to the non-custodial parent written notice 45 days in advance of any move greater than 60 miles from that parent's current residence. Then, the non-custodial parent has 30 days to respond by filing a written objection to the move.

Continue reading "Alabama Custody Disputes: My Former Spouse is Moving Away with My Kids!" »

Child custody disputes are becoming increasingly common and volatile. Often, one parent is unhappy with the court ordered visitation and/or child support and decides to make things difficult for the other parent. This can include tactics such as continual harassment intended to make the other parent make changes to the custody arrangement, threatening to take the issue back to court, and even kidnapping the child and refusing to abide by the court orders.

These types of situations are compounded when one parent has moved out of the state. Recently, I had an issue arise where the custodial parent had moved out of Alabama with the child and everything seemed to be going fine. The child came back to the state for a scheduled visit and then the non-custodial parent refused to return the child when the visit was over. Law enforcement authorities refused to get involved, calling it a "civil matter."

There are a few different options for the custodial parent in a situation like that one. That parent can file a petition for contempt against the non-custodial parent because of their failure to abide by the court order. However, it is imperative that the original court order be well written so that it is easy to show what is required of the parties. The custodial parent could also file charges against the non-custodial parent for interference with custody. This is a criminal charge that holds very severe consequences if the parent is found guilty. However, this route can be very slow and the damage may already be done to the child if the process takes months or years to reach a conclusion.

Continue reading "Alabama Child Custody Disputes " »

One of the most difficult parts of a divorce is the determination of child custody. In most divorces there is not a clear difference between the parents as far as whether one would be a better parent than the other. However, once custody is determined and ordered by the court, it is very difficult to modify custody unless all parties agree to the change. This is why it is so important to get it right the first time.

In this post, I am going to discuss some of the different types of child custody arrangements and how they work. First, it is important to know about the two different categories of custody: Legal Custody and Physical Custody. Legal Custody involves the decision-making aspect of custody. The Legal Custodian has the right to make decisions about where the child will attend school, what doctor will the child see, what church will the child attend, etc. Physical Custody involves where the child physically will reside.

Divorces often take several months to come to a resolution and sometimes longer if they go to trial. However, the question of child custody is not one that can remain in limbo for that long. Therefore, when custody is an issue, the court will usually hold a Pendente Lite Hearing to decide temporary arrangements for custody during the litigation.

Joint Custody (True Joint Custody)

True Joint Custody means that each parent has equal Legal Custody and Physical Custody. Each parent has the right to make decisions regarding the child such as what school to attend, what doctor to see, etc. This can be a potential problem if the two parents are not able to agree on everything. Joint Custody also means that the child will reside with each parent half of the time. When the child is old enough to attend school, it is very difficult to have true joint physical custody unless the parties live close to each other. If the parties are able to work together well for the benefit of their children, True Joint Custody allows both parents to be a big part of the child's life.

Child support in a True Joint Custody arrangement is often a surprise to the parties, especially the one who has to pay it. If the parties have relatively equal incomes, there may be no support due. However, if the incomes of the parties are disproportional, one parent may be ordered to pay the other in order to equalize the households. This scenario is also one that sometimes allows the parties to stipulate to no child support payments even if the guidelines say some would be due.

Continue reading "Alabama Child Custody Considerations and Options" »

The most frequently asked question that I receive from people contemplating divorce is "what should I be doing to get ready for my divorce?" Generally speaking, this is probably the most important question they could ask. Although my answer varies somewhat based on the individual situation, there are some general principles that apply to almost every situation. This is why I felt the need to include this topic as a blog post.

Step 1: Find An Experienced Divorce Lawyer to Consult
I know, I know, this sounds like a commercial. I'm not saying that you have to come to me, I would certainly appreciate the opportunity to help you, but what I am saying is find someone. Don't be afraid to ask potential lawyers about their experience. You can certainly find forms online to fill out and do your own divorce. However, if you do eventually plan to go that route, I still recommend speaking to an experienced divorce lawyer at first so that you can find out if there are any issues that need to be handled by a professional.

Step 2: Get a Clear Picture of Family Finances
This is extremely important while you still have access to records. Make sure that you know exactly what you own (both you and your spouse), how much debt there is, and how much income comes from each spouse. Additionally, be sure to make copies of any and all important records and account numbers. Pay close attention to any assets or debts that the other spouse is likely to attempt to hide from you at a later date.

Step 3: Don't Accumulate New Debt
Now is not the time to purchase a new house or car. The worst thing that you can do with respect to property is to acquire new debt against property that has no equity. Many divorces drag on much longer than they should simply because the couple has debt that they cannot pay and assets that would not cover that debt if sold.

Continue reading "Alabama Divorce Preparation Basics: Considerations Before Filing For Divorce" »